I honestly have no idea what to blog about right now. I think this blog is gonna be me just venting. My life has been a little rocky recently or for a couple of years. I lost my job in August 2010, and that made me not be able to provide for myself because my parents can barely do that. I feel bad for my parents because they try so hard and barely ever get a break from all the stress and worry. My dad is on disability, my mom is the only one that works. I had a job so I could buy things for myself. Now that I don't have a job, it's really hard. I don't have a car or even my license. My boyfriend or someone else in my family drives me anywhere I need to go, and I'm so thankful for that. Everyday I thank God for my life. The way I was raised, was unlike most people. Yes, we grew up with a roof over and head and the things we needed, but we rarely got the things we wanted. We grew up realizing that family and God is the most important. I grew up being grateful for everything I have whether the people around me knew it or not. The year we almost lost our house, definitely brought me closer to God. Because I needed to Him to get me through it. My boyfriend tells me sometimes that because of me, he is grateful for everything he has in his life. And I'm glad I made an impact in his life. God has changed his life and mine.
My youth group, recently has been all about helping and giving to people. I wanted for so long to help people, and I can't give money because I don't have any...because I don't have a job. And I have went to multiple places filling out applications, and no one is hiring. I don't understand what God wants me to do, or how He wants me to give if I don't have money to help. Money seems to be the thing you need when you go anywhere, when you want to do anything. A lot of people worship their money and I don't want it to sound like that's what I'm doing. When I got laid off my job, I felt like God was giving me a break. I was happy to leave that job because I worked everyday after school and then I would come home to a loud house where I tried to do my homework, and it was super stressful, I thought I was going no where, just walking in circles. Now I need a job more than anything because I want to give to people so much. I want to be able to give money to Charity:Water, give in the offerings on Sunday morning services, give people lunch money if they forget theirs, buy clothes just to give them to a charity or to the homeless, there is so much that I want to give. And I don't even know where to start if I don't have a simple dollar to my name to give away to someone who really needs it.
My youth minister told us last night to sign up for a mission trip. We're going to Ohio in June. I'm still not exactly sure what we would be doing to help, but he just said money was no object, if we wanted to go, then to sign up. So I signed up. And hopefully I can go because I do not want to miss out on this opportunity to help someone and change their lives.
I may not have a job, and I may be so stressed out sometimes...but I have no doubt that God is watching out for me. I have faith in Him and I trust Him.
My dad and I get checks in the mail every month, because my dad is on disability. My check is supposed to stop coming when I turn 18, and that is next month. Those checks keep us from getting behind on our bills. So pray that who ever reads this blog, prays for my family. I don't want to see my parents lose hope, I don't want them to worry or anything else. We were so close to losing our house before and I don't want it to happen again. God saved us once from having move and hopefully He does it again. Good things always seem to happen just when we need a miracle. God just works in mysterious ways.
