Taking first steps

I realized today that pretty much everyday, I sit at home bored out of my mind. If I'm not with Matthew then I'm doing nothing because he is my life and I love him so much, I always want to spend time with him. I don't have any siblings to hang out with during the day because they all have jobs, lives out of state, or is taking care of a new born baby. I would not interrupt their lives just because I'm bored and miss them a little though. I am very happy for them and when I get to spend time with them, I cherish each moment. It really just makes me want to start my career and family right now. It will be a new experience when I actually get married because in the Bible it says that you break away from your families and the two people getting married become one, they start their new and happy life together and they are no longer bound to their parents. I can't wait to go through what a few of my siblings have gone through, the part where they get married and move away. I just can't wait. Because after that, we really do start our own life, we will visit our parents every now and then and then again on holidays, but the rest of the time we get to spend together, without people telling us what we should and shouldn't do. We will be in control of our own lives. I can't wait to get through college, move out of this house and in an apartment somewhere with Matthew, get a new job, get married, and all that fun stuff. I'm not rushing anything though. God determines the steps I make and I will live my life the way He wants me to. I'm trying to enjoy my life right now but when I don't have a job to keep me busy, it's pretty hard. And when I have to sit at home all day doing nothing except laundry and cleaning because Matthew is working and I can't see him or talk to him, then it's pretty hard then too. (If I had a choice, I would see him every single day...because that's how it should be) And even when I'm at home and no one to hang out with, it's hard.  I am very happy with my life, it is just a little hard sometimes and confusing. I have orientation on Friday at Gwinnett Tech and it's very exciting. It is my first step into my life in college and I'm looking forward to it every second.

Don't rush, you will still get there

Lately I have been rushing through everything. And I don't think God would want us to rush through anything, I think he would want us to embrace every second of everything. He created us to enjoy this life on earth and to praise Him.

I keep rushing into my relationship with my boyfriend, Matthew, (not anything bad) but I feel like we should married already! Sometimes I think we are and we aren't so treat him like a husband. I talk about how we are gonna raise our kids, what we would do if they disobey us, where we are gonna live..the one thing I haven't really thought of more is where our wedding is going to be or who is going to be in it, or how to write vows, and who to invite. I keep focusing on the future like it is already here. I need to stop doing that because when I do, nothing turns out like I wanted it to. But it's not supposed to turn out like I want, it's supposed to turn out like God wants it to, it's His plan for me and I need to learn to follow it. Don't rush into whatever is going on in your life, take a step back and look at your life. Remember that God is in charge of your plan and he will make it GOOD.

I've also been rushing to get into college, I wanna be in and out already. I wanna have a job and a car...my license. For people that know me, they would know that patience is not easy for me. I have to pray for it all the time, I have to pray for God to keep me on track...I'm a very impatient person...it's a fact. My point is, we need to take a look at our life. If you don't like the way it looks, pray about it. God will change you. You just have to believe that He is in charge of your plans.