I realized today that pretty much everyday, I sit at home bored out of my mind. If I'm not with Matthew then I'm doing nothing because he is my life and I love him so much, I always want to spend time with him. I don't have any siblings to hang out with during the day because they all have jobs, lives out of state, or is taking care of a new born baby. I would not interrupt their lives just because I'm bored and miss them a little though. I am very happy for them and when I get to spend time with them, I cherish each moment. It really just makes me want to start my career and family right now. It will be a new experience when I actually get married because in the Bible it says that you break away from your families and the two people getting married become one, they start their new and happy life together and they are no longer bound to their parents. I can't wait to go through what a few of my siblings have gone through, the part where they get married and move away. I just can't wait. Because after that, we really do start our own life, we will visit our parents every now and then and then again on holidays, but the rest of the time we get to spend together, without people telling us what we should and shouldn't do. We will be in control of our own lives. I can't wait to get through college, move out of this house and in an apartment somewhere with Matthew, get a new job, get married, and all that fun stuff. I'm not rushing anything though. God determines the steps I make and I will live my life the way He wants me to. I'm trying to enjoy my life right now but when I don't have a job to keep me busy, it's pretty hard. And when I have to sit at home all day doing nothing except laundry and cleaning because Matthew is working and I can't see him or talk to him, then it's pretty hard then too. (If I had a choice, I would see him every single day...because that's how it should be) And even when I'm at home and no one to hang out with, it's hard. I am very happy with my life, it is just a little hard sometimes and confusing. I have orientation on Friday at Gwinnett Tech and it's very exciting. It is my first step into my life in college and I'm looking forward to it every second.
This is really good! I love that you just can write short entries. Even if they are short, you get your point across. It's hard not having anything to do. I see you go through this everyday and it makes me sad because i wish you could find a job. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life seeing you everyday! :D I love you Amy Dian Collins
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